the poor will inherit the Kingdom to come

I’m beginning to apprehend what Mother referred to by the poverty of the Cross. Of being thirsty, of being alone, of being in pain. 

From villages to slums to red-light districts, I can already feel the weight of the crucible in making this home. Being an ocean and a half away from everyone that understands my scars and dreams… being so clouded in the emptiness that doubts my belief… I really do feel like a man who’s lost all or at least most of it. 

I pray that I start to see the blessing in it.

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I know what it’s like to live in richness,

I know what it’s like to dwell in poverty.

I know what it’s like to have the best of friends,

I know what it’s like to be rejected.

I know what it’s like to be in front of thousands,

I know what it’s like to be lonely in four walls.

i know what it's like to relive memories,

i know what it's like to try and forget.

I know what it’s like to eat my fill,

I know what it’s like to go hungry.

I know what it’s like to create fads,

I know what it’s like to care less about appearance.

I know what it’s like to play sold-out rock shows,

I know what it’s like to not have anyone to listen.

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I mean, I knew it would be hard. I just didn't think it would be this hard. There is a suffering that grows deeper as the days go by. I guess I'm more brittle than brave.

I don’t want to wake up one day and call this existence.  I don't want the presence of the orphan, the trafficked, the dying and the destitute to become normal. I’m hoping for a new reality.

 I know that hope is on our side.

"The poor will inherit the kingdom to come" - Jason Upton